27 Men Who Have No One To Blame But Them

That’s what happens when all you make is poor choices

What are you doing?


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There’s nothing NOT TERRIBLE about this idea.


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Does smashing a vacuum into your dick sound fun to you?


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Like WHY are you doing this to yourself?


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Did you actually think that this was going to FEEL GOOD?

...

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Because that’s aluminum foil wrapped around your dick GOING INTO AN ELECTRICAL SOCKET.


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And you’re actually dipping your dick INTO BOILING WATER.


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Like why would you even volunteer for this?


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Or let this bobsled shoot STRAIGHT FOR YOUR CROTCH?


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And WHY are you PULLING A CAR with your cojones?!


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Like HOW does this even happen??


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Because you ARE NOT Superman and DO NOT have a dick of steel.


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Balls 101: Keep your legs closed AT ALL TIMES.


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ESPECIALLY if there’s a kid with a bat near you.


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And JUST DON’T light your crotch on fire.


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Because skin can burn AND THAT IS WHAT YOUR DICK IS MADE OF.


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Don’t try to jump over your bro on a motorcycle.


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Or into another bro in midair.


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And definitely don’t let your bro recreationally PUNCH YOU IN THE BALLS.


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Because I don’t know if you know this, but THE GROIN IS ONE OF THE MOST SENSITIVE PARTS OF THE BODY.


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OF.


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THE.


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BODY.


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SO JUST STOP because it will never turn out how you planned it to.


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And landing on your balls will NEVER NOT HURT.


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So protect your future children, men.


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And don’t take your man parts for granted.


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