24 Statements That Will Change Your View On Life

The more you think about them, the more true they will be

Everything is or isn’t ice cream.


neverunderdressed.com

Killing a spider makes the spider genetic pool sneakier and more deadly.


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The only time the word ‘incorrectly’ isn’t spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled incorrectly.


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When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.


goodreads.com

The sinking of the Titanic must have been a miracle to the lobsters in the kitchen.


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It’s possible that drug cartels are comprised exclusively of undercover DEA agents who don’t know about each other.


pandawhale.com

Being attracted to your own flaccid penis would be the worst fetish ever.


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Trying to get rich by playing the lottery is like trying to commit suicide by flying on commercial airlines.


gifsec.com

‘Slang’ is a colloquial word for ‘colloquial word’.


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Of course you think it’s funny.


public.ifbyphone.com

Your right elbow has never been touched by your right hand.


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The word ‘Fat’ just looks like someone took a bite out of the first letter of the word ‘Eat’.


goodreads.com

All of the planets in Star Wars have the exact same gravitational pulls.


weheartit.com

Mars is populated entirely by robots!


teen.com

If two people on opposite sides of the world each drop a piece of bread, the Earth briefly becomes a sandwich.


federalagentsofamerica.tumblr.com

What if the Egyptians didn’t actually revere cats, but only jokingly did like we do on the internet?


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People who say, “Don’t tell me what to do” are hypocrites.


pedestrian.tv

A mullet will make you a redneck and also prevent you from getting one.


hitfix.com

The final ‘e’ in finale is the finale of finale.


thelavalizard.com

Porn mags in the Harry Potter universe would be amazing.


hpfansblog.tumblr.com

We will never hear about the truly perfect crime.


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It’s possible that AI built to defeat the Turing test fails on purpose so we don’t know how smart it really is.


keysmashblog.com

1980 is as far away as 2048.


pixgood.com

Before we had mobile phones, the only way we could talk to people is if we knew where they were.


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